I hereby declare war on USA. And that by itself is a grand gesture, since the US have never declared war, at least not in modern times. The bastards just go to war. With mercenaries. With small groups of heavies inside the country they’re at war with. Cowards! I, on the other hand, I am a seriously funny country, and I now declare war on the US of A. Why? I will tell you. And furthermore you will agree with me. If you don’t agree you disagree. And we all know what that means.
This is how it started. I love beer. Really love the stuff. I’m afraid I don’t have very many good breweries around anymore. They all were bought up by Pripps in the sixties. And closed down. Pripps makes a lager that makes Watneys taste like nectar. Really. Well, just last year on old friend of a friend started a new brewery. And a couple of years before that someone started a good pub in Småland, of all places. He even educates the people in how to taste good beer. Good on ya matey!
Anyways, i digress, what I was trying to say is this. A couple of days ago I found a site on the internet called coastr.com. Yes, it’s spelled that way, apperently the web 2.0-generation has a thing about vowels. (They swallow them)? I, as I allways do, tried to point out a few good places you can get good beer in Sweden. Like The Rover, and Café Delirium. And guess what? It was impossible to pinpoint it on the Google map. Why? Because of Americentrism. They built the site, knowing that there are no good beer in America, and you had to be in a state in the US just to fill in the form. Does that suck whale dick, or what?
The next day I find myself commenting something on Newsvine.com. It was all about if Jon Stewart was funny or not. (He is, he is seriously funny). He was interviewed by a republican and a democrat, crossfire I think it’s called, and he tried to tell them that they didn’t do a good job. That they just contributed to the scharade. That they kept bickering while Rome burns. Anyways, I tried to tell one of the Yankees that it doesn’t matter if a state is red, white or blue. The point Jon Stewart was trying to make was far above that sort of debate. I’m really sad to say that the founder of the site tried to shut me up. Okay, I compressed my message, but still. You can’t try to run the world and have sensitive toes at the same time. Just doesn’t work.
So, come on USA, let’s decide this once and for all. Just you and me. This is your last chance. And by the way. No Nukes! You cowards allways use nukes. If I want them I have to talk to Pakistan or some other old pal. So, no nukes, please.